To Feel At Home

“Where are you staying tonight?” That’s not an odd question to ask some kids as they board the van for rides home after Kids Club. Many kids divide their time between custodial and non-custodial parents’ homes, as well as relatives’ and babysitters’ when parents work. For this reason we try hard to create a very special at-home feeling for each child at Club. It starts by always welcoming a child by name and giving each person a moment of directed attention.

Daily, we try to be aware of the room’s ambiance as the children enter. During the cold months we sometimes had hot chocolate steaming as kids trudged in to shed boots and coats. Children love the aroma of something good in the oven. “That smells like baked spaghetti,” one girl recently said, “and I hope it is, ‘cause that’s my favorite.” Knowing someone’s likes and dislikes is part of valuing each individual. Letting kids make pudding, experiment with baking soda volcanoes, or build tents with tablecloths are the kinds of homemade fun we can facilitate even when they are not in their own houses. Some days children come in very weary. We try to be sensitive to this need, too, by designating a place where they can curl up with a book and rest. Every day we want NETwork to really feel like home to our precious Kids Club family.

-Denise

The Higher Calling

“You have heard that it was said,
‘Eye for eye, and tooth for tooth.’
But I tell you, do not resist an evil person.
If anyone slaps you on the right cheek,
turn to them the other cheek also."
- Jesus, according to Matthew

Samuel burst into the FLAVA room, obviously upset. I asked him how his day was, and though he didn’t say much I could tell he was trying to calm himself down. After a long pause he said, “I better not see Brooke again or I will punch her.”

I asked him again about his day and why he was so upset. I also reminded Samuel that there has to be a better solution than punching someone.

He took a couple of breaths and then rambled on about the events that had unfolded. Brooke and her brother Trey had been bickering back and forth with Samuel as soon as they had stepped off the bus. By time they had reached the FLAVA building the argument was at full strength.

Samuel repeated his early threat a couple more times, and I encouraged him to respond differently a couple more times. Finally he calmed down and seemed to forget about the whole situation.

This is one of many stories I could tell about FLAVA students. It’s a daily struggle not just for students like Samuel, but for me as well. I understand the constant tension of doing what seems justified in anger, versus following the ways of Lord.

She hit me so I will hit her. He threw water on me so I will throw it on him. Eye for an eye. Tooth for a tooth. But Jesus’ teachings encourage us to respond differently. And though this is a harder, higher calling, it is in fact the calling followers of Christ have.

Samuel and many other students that come to NETwork are just learning about who Jesus is, and though some of them know Christ, many do not. We can talk about a lot of reasons that Samuel shouldn’t hit Brooke when he sees her next, but ultimately real change in behavior comes after a life-changing experience with Christ.

When I think about students like Samuel and the words of Jesus, my prayers change. It’s not just prayers for peace and non-violence, but also prayers for every student at NETwork to acknowledge their higher calling. Until then, I can tell Samuel again and again not to hit Brooke or anyone else, but it seems like it is just behavior modification. Though I am constantly praying for stu- dents to be more peaceful, I am ultimately praying for them to know Jesus, to know the truth about our Lord and Savior, and to follow Him.

I don’t have an amazing ending to the story with Samuel, Brooke, and Trey. I don’t know what happened the next time Samuel saw Brooke, but I know that we have a Lord who meets kids where they are and it’s a joy to be a part of the work he is doing!

The Pink Pencil

In Kids Club we’re focusing on one of the ten commandments each week, and we’re studying how these commandments came into being and their influence on people, including us. Imagining a world with no lying, stealing, jealousy, idols, or murder can help us to picture, and long for, more of God’s kingdom. We’ve read how the people of Israel said to God, “Yes, we will follow everything you ask of us,” but then they failed to keep that promise.

As a leader among children, I feel a tension to want to make our kids “good” by having them follow the letter of the law. But another part of me knows that the sooner kids realize that no one can earn Kingdom entry, the better.

All of my theological pondering got practical a few days ago when, it seems, one child stole another child’s pink mechanical pencil. Both children sounded their passionate outcry: “That pencil is MINE!” The matter was made more complex when a third child said she knew for certain that the pencil was hers, and that she had gifted it to a friend. So, three children, three stories, and one pencil.

This situation kept occupying my mind for hours after I removed the pencil from all of them. In the end, I talked with each child separately, reminding them that God knows everything about us, and that he’s the one who said we should not steal. I also reminded them that lying sets up a feeling of mistrust. Finally I told them that I wanted them to understand that we are just like the Hebrew people, who were not able to keep the laws given through Moses. But, I reminded them, the Bible says that mercy comes through Jesus, who died for our sins because he knew we could not keep the law.

Then I explained what they already knew, I’m sure: that there was no way I could know for sure who had told the truth. I wanted them to know that I was sorry if the struggle caused one of them to lose the pink pencil that was rightfully theirs. I told them how much I had thought and prayed about the situation. Then I revealed a solution that seemed fair. I presented each child privately with a new mechanical pencil: one green, one blue, and one yellow. I told each child that I cared about them. I told them I wanted them to understand that lying and stealing are wrong, but that I also wanted them to grow in their understanding of what mercy and compassion feel like.

Whether or not I helped them to grow or only enabled them, I do not know. But that pink pencil made me think about my own life and how grateful I am for the many, many times God applies mercy instead of judgment to me. It is likely that I erred somewhere in this incident, but with the hope of sharing the Good News with these three, I decided it best to error on the side of grace.

I hope you are encouraged by this story, and that you take advantage of the opportunities you have over the next several weeks to give grace to people you encounter. All of us need it!

Sincerely,
Denise